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One of the hardest things to break is our habits

Your brain loves patterns, so creating new ones takes time

I share a story about my experience with food and alcohol in my book Diggin’ Your Dark Side, here is a sneak peak for you…

Excerpt – Diggin’ Your Dark Side Chapter Four;

As a baby, I could not drink my mother’s milk. I was placed on a soy formula from birth as I was intolerant to dairy as well. This intolerance waxed and waned throughout my life.

An unhelpful intolerance to have when chocolate is your taste buds’ naughty pleasure in life. Although I had a chocolate fetish, I never had it in the home as eating clean was important to me, and I always took the time to prepare fresh whole foods.

I had no hesitation paying the higher price for organic foods and avoiding preservatives for my family; eating right was of high importance.

The coin flipped during my depression. I had little regard for my health and relaxed about what my family ate.

Knowing my intolerance to dairy didn’t stop me from trying to artificially boost my serotonin levels with chocolate and numb my brain with champagne.

I had a new diet that included refined foods, sugars and alcohol; my energy levels fluctuated as did my moods due to my hormones being affected by this change in lifestyle. I started eating foods for a short-lived high – anything to try and feel good momentarily.

I knew what I was doing. I was educated enough to know better, but my self-love was low, and I had lost care for myself. As chocolate was now on the menu for me and I wasn’t afraid of cheese with my champagne, I was aiding the dark sides control over me by weakening my immune system and the integrity of my gut from eating foods my body was intolerant and not used to.

This meant I could no longer absorb nutrients properly from my foods, and my hormones were out of balance due to a lack of nutrients required to make them. I also trashed the bacteria inside my body; chaos was wreaking havoc in my major organs.

The cascade of health issues were on their way.

Depression attacks every aspect of your existence. it doesn’t discriminate from your body, mind or soul. 

They are all fair game to the dark side.

Some of us are more susceptible to addictions than others. There is a good chunk of us that have unbearable cravings for food when we feel stressed and out of balance. And others will lose their appetite, becoming weaker and malnourished. Either way, the change in our eating and drinking patterns only fuel the depressive state.


I am not shy or ashamed to admit my addictive patterns and poor food choices when I am stressed. 

I put my hand up that when crap hits the fan, I reach for bubbles and chocolate. I find meal planning and cooking hard during these times. For me, alcohol needs to be off the table. I believed  I had control over it when I first wrote my book, I was managing to use it socially only but as soon as the next wave of low mood hit, I was back on it, telling Glen to drink beer so I didn’t have to share my bottle.. or two.

Not cool.

I get how challenging it is to free yourself from poor choices. And that is what we will go deeply into in the second week of our Diggin’ Your Dark Side free series.

There are ways to remap the mind, to get support to eat nutritionally and understand yourself better around WHY you self sabotage the way you do.


Rock up live with me 11 June 6.30pm or watch the recording here



Big love


Melinda xo





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