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Life, Love

What Would’ve Been

Some weeks these blogs flow out and other weeks I stare at the screen waiting for words to jump out. 

Today is the latter. 

There's only so many personal stories you can share before you get sick of your own voice. 

So I thought maybe today I can share a snippet of the first version of my book I started to write about a year ago. I have decided to ditch this idea and have moved on to fiction.. eek, so here's what would of been (this was the intro)...

I am not a feminist. Far from it, however history can teach us many things about the tug of war we have endured for equality. The suppression and rise of women is not linear.

There have been female warriors in ancient times, societies that worshipped the feminine and matriarchs whilst other cultures have mutilated women and burnt them at the stake if they showed any level of intuitive and powerful energy.

And in modern times, we have females in powerful roles leading nations, killing it in executive positions and thought leaders for consciously run enterprises simultaneous to women being mutilated, raped and banished in neighbouring countries.

The rise and fall of women happens throughout all ages.

The problem we face today is not that women need to step up and lead because we do not have the same level of ego and testosterone as the male energy and therefore the world will run smoothly.

Heck no.

We will make a meal of it just as they have… can you imagine? We can’t help ourselves, we jump from one topic to the next, we would sit on the fence with how we feel about things, going back and forth with our emotions until it feels right. Ladies don’t be fooled, you will do a crap job too.

It may not be as violent as it is today and everyone’s feelings will be considered but we have more emotional points than men. We run from jealousy and comparison when not in check. And leadership means limited people pulling you in. We might hug the leader of the UK, but walk away calling them a bitch to Canada and planning to cut them from the group.

A total cat fight.

The problem we face today is not about reclaiming our stance and taking over. The solution is that men and women need to unite. We need to end the tug o war and come together to connect our energies powerfully. The sturdiness of the masculine. The ability to stand to their truth no matter what. Their strength. Their ability to protect. Combined with the passionate, playful and compassionate energy of the feminine.

Together, we are powerful.

I see this in my home. When one of our kids have been a turkey, my husband decides on the disciplinary measures required and that is that. I agree there needs to be repercussions but want to wait, talk about it and let the dust settle before delivering the consequence.

As time goes by, my maternal instincts kick in and I want to scoop my child up, show them love and feel less inclined to discipline. Glen is still on the persecution route. He has stood strong in our original agreement and time has not waivered this in him.

He helps me stay on track for setting boundaries, I would let them get away with far more if he did not remind me of the original outburst or poor choice our child made. And I help him soften to the needs of our children. They need both. They need clear cut boundaries and to understand what actions are not ok and they need to know we love them unconditionally, no matter what they dish us, we love them.

We need to remember that we are one.

What is in you, is in others.

What you are living in your home, is happening in the world. If we can get the balance right inside of ourselves, and in our families, this will ripple through into the world.

In my home, we have many countries being represented. One child is like North Korea. He wants to fight everyone. It is everyone else’s fault he is where he is and if you ask him, he is the good guy… yes I have weapons of mass destruction but only because I need to protect myself from anyone that is powerful.

My husband is America. Always wanting to step in and protect but does this forcefully. Peace talks?? What are they? Lets’ just blow ‘em up. That’ll teach them.

Another child is Japan, keeps himself small and polite but can start some serious shit when he explodes.

We also have a couple of neutral countries and a small island, has no idea there is chaos all around, just floating by on their cloud of ignorance.


I'm Bulgaria in World War II. I switch teams depending on who I empathise with at the time, I start out in the war, sit back and cover my eyes when it gets ugly and then claim neutral ground when it’s all getting out of hand.

The chaos of the world we live in is merely a representation of how we live our lives being projected on a global scale.

We see countries that are viewed as “good” by doing their own thing, but the attitude of burying your head in the sand does not bring us peace.

Trying to fight everyone elses battles doesn’t help nor does building an army or wall to protect yourself. It is all a self-obsessed approach. And nothing more.

If we can tune in to create peace in our home and momentously create true peace within ourselves, we will find the terrors of our world organically subside.

And that is what this book is truly about.

Yes I am going to talk about women’s obsession with self. But not from the stand point of encouraging this behaviour and giving tools to lose weight for personal confidence. That will be a bi-product of the true message, you are the divine light. You, combined with the masculine energy are what this planet needs to heal if we can manage to get past our insecurities.


Big love,




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