No One Can Hurt You
Once you open yourself up to hearing the whispers of your intuition, it starts to appear everywhere. Guiding you to find the answers to your internal struggles.
A life transforming lesson for me, when I finally listened was this;
No One Can Hurt You, Only You Can Hurt Yourself
I am sensitive, like so many of us these days. I can feel the energy of a person before I see them and I am easily impacted by someone else’s mood.
You get that too?
This is a little bit of a problem for me, since I live with a fair brood. Mostly teenagers and a sometimes (sorry Glen) stressed out husband. So the temperament in my house fluctuates drastically, to say the least.
This is truly what led me to my second bout of depression. I hadn’t learnt how to protect myself from another’s energy. I would feel the mood in my house and my mood would be impacted.
I have a genetic need to have peace around me. Conflict creates so much anxiety inside. Even small issues with staff members would flare my nervous system. My throat chakra feels tight and restricted. I needed to know everyone is ok, or I was not.
And to some extent, I will always have this tendency, my DNA, numerology and star sign all agree that I am one sensitive cookie. So feeling into other people will always be my default.
But there is a way to protect yourself so you can have compassion but not get taken out into the storm of others….
One day I was feeling quite upset. Glen was in one of his (distracted) moods. Work was demanding a lot from him and even when he was present, he wasn’t really present. He had made a choice that I was hurt over so I decided to text him letting him know his decision upset me.
I then heard my inner voice tell me to listen to A Course in Miracles Made Easy, Chapter five, 14.30mins in– seriously that is how specific she gets when she knows you are tuned in.
And the Authors first words were;
No one can hurt you. Only you can hurt yourself.
Bam.
I felt the truth behind that statement powerfully. Glens actions are his to make. It is my choice to take them personally. It is my attachment to wanting rainbows and butterflies all the time that was hurting me.
It was my inability to stay in my light when others were flirting with their darkness that upset me.
Being sensitive to others is such a blessing when you tap into the natural strength of your energy not just the soft, malleable energy you hold.
Everyone needs to play around with their darkness, our shadow side is just as important to understand as our light. And I was viewing everyone else’s dabble with darkness as bad.
Me of all people should know better right? I wrote the book!
But because of my own personal need to have peace around me I became anxious and depressed because of the struggles of those I loved. Just be happy please. Was my internal mantra.
CRAZY
Since this HUGE aha moment I have worked on this and want to share with all you other sensitive souls out there.
We can continue to be compassionate, sensitive and intuitive without becoming neurotic and holding the world upon our shoulders…
When we use this as a mantra, No one can hurt me, only I can hurt myself it helps to immediately release the attachment you have to other people.
Putting boundaries in place is also important. People treat you how you have taught them to treat you. By being an energetic doormat, you are asking people to rub their dirty energy onto you. But when you learn to create space between you and that energetic stink bomb, they see you are not going to help feed their distress or let it in to your space.
It also helps them come down a few notches faster too. When they see that you are not going to respond or buy in, they lose momentum.
Letting people digest and process their own issues is really important. I am a fixer by nature. I want to help everyone, but sometimes the best way to help is to stay calm, at peace and give them the space and compassion to work it out for themselves. Such a powerful thing to do for yourself and others.
This too shall pass.
Big love,
Melinda xo
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