Do you feel different to how you look?
The mirror and photos of me show a different person to how I feel, how is that so?
How many of us feel this way?
We have a version of ourselves casted firmly in our minds. Who we are, what we look like, how others see us…
How often is our internal reflection identical to the projection of ourselves we cast out?
Not often is my guess.
As women, we have the “perfect woman” in our minds that we compare ourselves too. Everyones make believe woman is different based on what we value;
For some their perfect woman has a round arse they can instagram flash and their wardrobe is envied.
Others, may see the perfect woman as the perfect calm mother and loving wife.
The career driven and passionate will see the perfect woman having achieved great things and is respected and valued for their work.
The feminist sees her as strong and independent.
And then the Super achievers amongst us, we see the perfect woman as a great Mum, loving wife, able to stay on top of the domestic duties, have beautiful hair, a strong career and look after our physical, spiritual and mental well-being.
How could we ever live up to her?
It is exhausting what we put ourselves through unintentionally.
Why do we, as women have this strong desire to be “perfect”?
Women, no different to men, have two selves they’re balancing.
The Woman and the Mother.
And she has two shades; the Cave Woman and the Divine.
When we are in cave woman mode, it is all about survival. For a woman to survive she needs to feel safe and protected. We are in a habit of looking outside ourselves for this reassurance, that we are safe.
In the period in which our genes have adapted from, this was necessary, we needed the tribe to protect us. We are the physically weaker sex, and less skills to align with fighting for survival and food.
And then we have the divine within.
Our human needs are no longer a priority and our intuition is powerful.
Our divine self knows that she is always safe.
She is in a dream and only her attachments can make her unsettled.
Our divine self is what men crave. They do not have the same ability to connect as the feminine energy does. Just as we do not have the same physical skills and strength as they do. It is a perfect balance of Earthliness and Goddess when joined together in honour of what the other brings to the connection.
Our divine self is what inspires other women. When we see a woman true to herself. Honouring her gifts and sharing her light, we love her. We are grateful for her ray of sunshine and we do not care about the perfect woman in her.
She is perfect for lack of trying.
Mother Teresa, Oprah, Audrey Hepburn and Joan of Arc… these women knew who they were.
Their essence is felt. Their gifts shared. Their voices strong.
These women to me, are the perfect woman. Not because they are in fact perfect or aspiring to be perfect. And not because I am aspiring to be like them either. But because they managed to silence the perfect woman long enough to connect to who they truly are, let go of who they think society wants them to be and became the most magical version of themselves.
They stayed aligned with their Spiritual right action long enough to change the world with their authenticity.
My perfect woman loves to taunt me.
She loves to bring my flaws to my awareness. She tells me all the areas I need to fix.
The mirror on the wall shows me the truth. And my truth right now is;
I am round. I am ageing. I am grieving. I am loving. I am strong. I am overweight. I am intuitive. I am freckly. I am sad. I am inspired. I am not stopping. I am emotional. I am growing. I am lazy. I am caring. I am accepting.
I am faith. I am love. I am courage.
I am the perfect me.
The mirror on the wall shows me my truth. I am not young anymore. I wear my struggles under my eyes some days. The mirror shows deep into my eyes. And when I truly look. When I drop the stories around what my arms “should” look like and how I use to look, I can see me. I can see my essence.
And she, is divine.
I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I don’t have to be full of mojo all the time to be worthy. I don’t have to be a size eight either. I do not need to have my shit together all the time. I give myself permission to wear this weight, crave my addictions and want to hide away.
Just for now.
I have things I need to do. So I know I can’t stay here. But for now, I am perfect. And my perfect will continue to change. She, is always evolving and growing. She is always learning and adapting.
There is no perfect woman for me to aspire to… I am already her. She is me. She grows with me and changes with me.
Ladies, let your cave woman speak. Let her remind you of your environment.
And take her advice to your Divine.
And don’t believe for a moment, you have anything to live up to;
You already are the perfect You.