Humility in the Truth
The truth is so much bigger than I am. And when I humbly bow to what is, I feel bigger for it
The truth does set you free.
I am living by these words right now, humility in the truth. And the truth is, I can't do this alone. I am talking in real time with you, I am not waiting for the magical day when this mountain put before me is conquered and I have profound retrospect to share from an enlightened place.
I am in the trenches, up to my knees in mud dragging myself along, heavy and weary. My loved ones feel like a dead weight that I am trying to carry, sometimes they walk beside me and other times they add to my load.
But I have my people, reaching their hand out to drag me along when my feet won't work. They are shovelling my path to make it a little easier.
They can't take my challenges away, but they are there, every step of the way.
I dedicate this to you, the ones who have popped out of the woodwork. Called or text everyday to say "Thinking of you" even when there is nothing else to share. I cannot tell you enough how this small gesture has lifted my spirits. To not feel alone.
Most humans find it hard to ask for help. To admit, this is hard. We like to trick ourselves into thinking we are independent. But the truth is, independence doesn't exist. We are all interdependent, on each other and on our world.
I had to stretch outside of this comfort and reach out last week.
I asked a friend to help me with dinners for my family. I shared with her that the constant safety care of my son, supporting a grieving husband, trying to create some weird version of stability for our other children and deal with my own fears and grief whilst running my business left nothing in the tank.
I was staring at the fridge, I couldn't do the basic tasks that would usually come so naturally to me. I was heading down the shop come dinner time each day to get what I needed (the opposite mentality to Corona hoarding) as thinking ahead to do a weekly shop was too much.
It was hard to do. And I have moments of guilt, when I have had an easier day, I think ooh I should've stepped up and cooked and not burdened others with this.
But, I have humility that there are beautiful people serving me so I can serve others.
I am not one to forget the generous nature of my community. Every lemon placed lovingly in a bag to make our vegetable curry taste nicer, and easter goodies shared with a giggle.
I have an abundance of gratitude for every little thing you have done for me and my family.
I feel held. I have faith that we will be ok because of the love and support of my tribe.
And all this came about, because I had the humility to say... I need help.
There is so much power in these words my love. When you reach out for a lending hand, you are allowing someone else to reach back and fulfil their innate human need to contribute. You are giving direction to those who love you and want to help but don't always know how.
If I am to conclude this post, it is with this... let go of pride. Let go of separation and the need to feel like you have to have your shit together all of the time. Beautiful things happen when you have humility to say; the truth is, I need you.
Biggest of love xo