At the risk of sounding sexist, here’s this weeks blog…
On Mother’s Day it’s such a treat for me to have my family make me breakfast whilst I lazily stay in bed reading a book. If I get a massage voucher, that’s the icing on the cake.
I rarely cook on this day of the year and enjoy quality time with my family.
But is this pampering what will allow a Dad to feel valued on Father’s Day?
I get we’re not in the 1950’s, women and men share the roles of managing family life from finances, kids to housework, so let’s pretend Mothers Day is for the person who does slightly more around the house and emotionally for the children and Fathers Day is for the partner who takes responsibility of the protection and providing for the family, irrelevant of their sex.
And for all you superhuman single parents, you are both and should be celebrated as both.
In my home, my husband happily admits to our children that I work harder than he does. I run a business that’s open 7 days a week, stop what I’m doing multiple times a day to run children around, check on the slow cooked meal I prepared that morning, manage the maintenance and care of our property and stay home on a weekend whilst they’re off having fun so the groceries are done and lunches prepared for the week ahead… and to be the on call shuttle service for them.
My husband is no slacko, he works hard for us but it’s very common for me to be working away at night whilst he’s scrolling facebook next to me.
Although I spend more hours ‘doing’ I don’t have the responsibility he does. He carries more on his shoulders than I could imagine.
He’s where the buck stops in our house. He ensures we have enough for whatever we need as a family. Women and men who are running a household on their own have to jump from role to role, a huge task for them to undertake.
Although the feminine contributes greatly to the finances in our modern world, the masculine have an instinctual drive to protect and provide.
So yesterday morning as he was helping me make his Father’s Day breakfast I said, “You shouldn’t be doing this, it’s Father’s Day” then I thought about it and said “This isn’t a treat for you, I make your breakfast six days a week” (He makes it once a week for me). And I pondered on what deed would give him relief from the daily grind; like making breakfast and letting me be lazy does for me on Mother’s Day.
The biggest thing Glen does for us is ensure we’re all safe and provided for. I can’t take that away from him for a day to give him respite.
So what fills his cup up to keep doing this for us?
The feminine energy feels reenergised from self-care. We give emotionally and physically so a breather from this offers so much nourishment for us. Sleep is also important as is the opportunity to download the data we’ve collected from our non-stop days (a.k.a; talking non-stop).
The masculine however, feels nourished from adventure and freedom. The masculine also loves to feel honoured and valued. I noticed breakfast was nice for Glen, but it wasn’t as amazing as it is for me to have this treat.
I noticed his eyes lit up when we sat over the table as a family and I reached for his arm and said, “We are so grateful for what you do for us. We love you so much.”
He also seemed at peace when he came home later that day from a jet skiing adventure on the river with Marli & Hugo. I was so glad I told him not to feel obliged to come to my parents for lunch, to go have fun with his kids if that’s what he needed.
It was a tough day for my man, but we did our best to surround him in love. I did my best not to treat him like a hairy woman and give him what makes me feel valued and nourished. It doesn’t have the same impact on our men.
I believe we have a delicate balance of masculine and feminine energy. We have both within us to different extents and we need to nourish ourselves with both. There are plenty of times a lady will want adventure to soothe her soul and a man some downtime with a book or massage. It’s not cut and dry. But honouring each other as ‘different’ is what’s required. Equal in importance but different in values and strengths.
I do hope you had a lovely day celebrating the men in your world, they are precious.