I love sharing knowledge on the mind, how it can work for you or against you depending on programming.
An untamed mind has unconscious patterns creating nasty habits and unfiltered thoughts creating fear. A tamed mind creates conscious habits that serve your highest intentions and filters out the white noise so you can hone in on the thoughts that work for you.
But... there is always a but.
It isn't something you master and then hang up your boots and the mind stays on point for you. Nope. I have invested deeply into controlling my mind.
Giving up alcohol was big for reprogramming. Committing to daily self-care put action to thought.
I worked tirelessly on my mind when recovering from my darkest days but the little biartch still got me recently...
I got back from Kundalini teacher training and lost the plot. Not a cute little teary phase. A dark as heck week.
I felt delicate. Sad enough to roll into the foetal position and sob without control.
I have no idea, maybe the deep work we were doing during that week helped me release some old emotion and it erupted fiercely. It could be the volatility I returned to with my ex-husband. The constant headache I have had for the past 4 months? Maybe the vegan diet depleted my B12 enough to mess with my mental health... I am trying not to analyse it too much and just accept that I lost my shit ungracefully.
The mantra I kept repeating to myself through it was,
"Just keep participating in life".
My mind was telling me to hide. Cancel your talk, you need to be alone. Reschedule your clients you can't do this today. See if someone can take your classes, you need to work out what is going on... all that shrinking disbelieving self-talk. But I kept showing up, repeating to myself "Just keep participating in life".
So I did.
I put mascara over my puffy eyes and did a corporate event. I washed my face clean of the tears to sit with my clients and pushed myself in classes to keep doing what communicates to the mind that, I have got this. Our actions speak volumes. Of course I needed some space whilst feeling like a bag of poo but I also needed to keep showing up because all my mind can do is respond.
My thoughts weren't serving me too well so I needed to create actions that resonated with my highest purpose. You see, when one part of you seems to be on its own mission to self-destruct, fall back on another. My emotions were high as a kite and I struggled to bring them down so I kept creating momentum in the direction I am heading in with action. Acknowledging that you feel like crud is good. Breathing through the emotion is perfect. But giving into it is not.
I wanted to share this because I know how many people out there struggle.
So many people are suffering. It is not easy to show up when you are drowning in sadness but it is essential. Create space so you are not crammed and stressed for sure but please do not give the darkness what it wants. Solitude. Disconnect. Labels. Stories.
Let it go, breathe through it and keep participating in life because you can intercept the negative feedback loop to create a shift.
Life is messy. And that is ok. Just keep showing up.
Big love to all and the biggest of love to all who needed some tough love today xo